Call Upon The Author

Ok, so before I begin, I must let you know that I know NOTHING about dance music. I went to a club once and I didn’t like it. I also have it on good authority that ‘Bonkers’ by Dizzee Rascal did OK this year. But this release, a compilation mix of Umek’s work, is venturing into hardcore territory. As it kicks in I suddenly realise my CD system is used to the simple strains of plucked guitar (which it finds difficult at the best of times) and that the complex basslines will not be booming through a sub-woofer the size of a two storey detached house and that all the subtle (is there subtle in dance music?) undercurrents of sound will not be picked up. Sorry about that Umek. And I haven’t taken any amphetamines this morning. I’ll skip to a quick analysis: ear-breaking repetitiveness which tends to change every 5-6 minutes and then a distorted vocal part and some horrible 8-bit noise which (I think) is supposed to replace melody. But don’t take my word for it. I know some people who would like it, but they go to Liquid, spend summers in Ibiza and are generally lucky in finding one-night-stands. I am the antithesis of this half-arsed description so OF COURSE I’m not going to like it. But I had a go. Sorry, Umek. Love the title of the album tho. HELLYEAH!